What would you do for a Klondike Bar?
by SkaleFlapper15
Summary: Title says all. I guess you could call this a crackfic. But I DON'T do drugs, capishe? Rating for what Erol says.
1. Chapter 1

Hello! SkaleFlapper15, here! This is something random that popped into my head the other day, while watching that one commercial, ya know, the one with the lady eating a Yorkshire Patty, or something. And then I remembered that Jeff Dunham clip where Achmed tells Jeff, "I'd kill you for a Klondike Bar." So I thought, what would the J&D characters do for a Klondike Bar?

Anyway, I'm rambling. Enjoy! Read and Review!

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**What would you do for a Klondike Bar?**

Jak

I'd ask nicely for a Klondike Bar. And if that didn't work, I'd tear the guy selling them apart, and steal them all! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Daxter

I'd kiss Krew for a Klondike Bar. And then I'd barf all over Tess accidently and suffer a whooping from _her_!

Erol

I would admit I'm gay for a Klondike Bar. Then chase Jak and Torn around because you Mary Sues and Fangirls would eat that right up!(_**A/N: I don't mean to offend anybody, with that. I just figured that he would do that**_)

Krew

I would go on a diet for a Klondike Bar. One with salads and vegetables and all that disgusting slop people dare to call healthy!

Keira

I'd go a week without touching my precious monkey wrench for a Klondike Bar. What? Of course I'm sure! What would make you think that I wasn't! What do you mean I'm rocking it like a ba--oh, I guess I am... hehe...

Ashelin

I'd put up with Daxter's flirting for an hour for a Klondike Bar. Then, after I recieved one, I would jam it up his nose and laugh at him. Why? I don't eat icecream. It goes straight to my thighs.

Torn

I would paint my fingernails hot pink, put on a minidress and go shopping with Tess for a Klondike Bar. No, really, I would. Anywhere in anything is fine with me as long as it keeps me away from that annoying rat...

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Is it wrong to be in love with Torn's. Just imagine it!

I plan to continue this, but I'm asking, _you_, my reviewers, to tell me what character you would like to be in chapter 2 and what they would do for a Klondike Bar. So pretty please press that pretty button that says, "Review," and tell me! Please?


	2. Chapter 2

I'm thanking Purple Dragon 614, Ottsel Instinct, and Lavaman for their ideas. Muchos Gracias!

Now on with the fic!

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**What would you do for a Klondike Bar?**

**(Part Two)**

Jinx  
I'd dance the can-can in Praxis' oversized underwear—which is ladies' panties, by the way—for a Klondike Bar. And I'd hope that they stayed on while I danced. Hey, Pretty Boy, watch me dance!

Sig  
I would let the Kid play with my peacemaker for a Klondike Bar. Cherry, don't you pull that trigger! No, don't!*BAM!* Ah, shit!

Skyheed  
I would give up my power over Aeropa (A.N.—Is that how you spell it?) and all my Dark Eco for a Klondike Bar. (undertone) Then I'll use the sugar rush to get it all back… (yelling) NOTHING CAN STOP ME! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Captain Phoenix  
For a Klondike Bar, I would sell out my crew to the Aeropans. Once more, dear friends, into the breach! (A.N.—I couldn't resist.)

Razer  
What is a Klondike Bar? I do not eat sweets. I need to be in tip top shape if I'm going to win the next Grand Championship. (and two hours later he's drunk off his German ass)

Baron Praxis  
I would put on a dress and divulge my love of wearing ladies' panties to everyone for a Klondike Bar.

Metal Kor  
I would be an inferior human/elf for the rest of my lifespan for a Klondike Bar. Now where did I put that walking stick…?

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I've deducted that there are three characters in the series who could be gay: Er(r)ol (because of several of his lines, such as, "I want more than just to win, Eco Freak! I want YOU!" Am I the only one who caught the double meaning in that?), Jinx (he calls Jak, "Sugar," Need I say more?), and Razer (the Gay-dar just goes, "BEEP BEEP BEEP…" whenever he comes onscreen)

Same deal: Tell me which character you'd like in the next chapter, and what you think they'd do for a Klondike Bar.

And Evil Ottsel, I'll get to crackin' on that Pecker one next chappie!


	3. Chapter 3

Old school time! But first, enjoy a helping of monkaw!

I really HATE the spacing format for this site, but where else am I gonna read fanfics?

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**What would you do for a Klondike Bar?**

**(Part Three)**

Pecker

I would stop sex for five minutes while being in the same room as Daxter for a Klondike Bar.  
(two minutes later he's going through sex-withdrawal and is being driven up the wall by Daxter. Literally)

Sculptor (from Sandover)

I would throw my sculpting boulder into the ocean and put my muse up for adoption for a Klondike Bar.

Warrior (from Rock Village)

I would face Klaww again for a Klondike Bar.  
(five minutes later he's in the fetal position in front of Klaww, rocking back and forth, yelling, "Don't hurt me! Don't hurt me!")

Boggy Billy

I would take a bath in what that thar rat called a… What was it… Oh, Yeah! A bathtub. For a Klondeek Bear.  
(afterwards he still smells like manure.)

Samos

I would water my plants with diluted dark eco for a Klondike Bar.  
(3 hours later, he's holding a funeral for his petunias and daffodils.)

Gol Acheron

I would dive into a vat of Light Eco for a Klondike Bar.  
(ten minutes later, "Ahhhh! It burns!" is heard in the direction of the Light Eco vat.)

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Sorry for the long wait for chappie three. But lookie, a heart is below this comment! Not many people this time, but I promise that I will get to all requests as soon as possible

.::.. ..::.

`:::::::`  
`:`a  
Heart!


	4. Chapter 4

Okay, you may be wondering why, except for these words, the page is blank. Well, I know I haven't updated in a while(understatement of the millenium), and haven't gotten around to using a lot of your submissions, and for that I am sincerely sorry. But, since I wanted to get this out of the way, I want to hear from YOU. Yes, you read right; What would YOU do for a Klondike Bar. Either PM me or leave it in a review, and I'll put it in the next chappie.

*Looks up at what was just typed* Yeah, I know, laziest chapter EVAR. Sorry.


	5. Chapter 5

Sigh. I kinda thought that more than one of you would review and tell me what you would do. But since that isn't the case, I'll get right to it, shall I?

THE REPO MAN would stop taking his medicine, throw away his knife collection, and admit his undying love for Erol. Then die a horrible death, but at least he would have the Klondike Bar.

So... that's it, I guess. If you'll review on your way out if you bother to read this crap, I'd appreciate it. And if you see an intern hiding outside, tell him to report to me for the termination of his job. Kay, thanks, bye.


End file.
